My Dear Grandfather by Miryam Boulad

Once upon a time, in a calm day, angels came and took you from me

You went up there, and you are protecting me

You became my guardian angel

You will never be forgotten, it is impossible

As long as I am alive you will live in my mind

I will carry you with me and hide you in my heart

Your light will continue to shine and never fade

 

My heart broke in half when you left me

A half full of sweet memories and a half that left with you

To remember you is easy, to miss you and not be able to find you is hard and makes me very sad

I wish you were still with me here

True, life is enough, but it will never be the same

 

You didn’t tell me you were leaving

You didn’t say goodbye

You left before I know

A hundred times I wished you were besides me

A hundred times I cried

But it is all right

You are relieved now

I loved you when you were alive

I will continue to love you when you are dead

No one can fill up your place in my heart

Only you can stay there

And if I have just five minutes before you left I would have told you how much I love you and how much you mean to me.

I would have said sorry for everything that made you upset and I would have hugged you tight and told you how much I will miss  you.

 

I sat with you on your chair and on your bed, I know I wasn’t seeing you but I knew that you were with me

I couldn’t hear you but I understood every word

I was comfortable but something was missing

Your presence next to me to tell me about “d’un seul coupn” and the heroes in your stories.

And tell me stories about that little fool Meriam and how I am like your daughter and you are like my father and will always be with me.

 

When I sat on your bed I felt like crying and remembered all of this

I wish you knew how much I love you

I wish I had the time to tell you what you mean to me

Your place is still empty and no one would take it

Your chair in the kitchen

Your bed

Your sofa in the living room

 

I still remember the sound of your wooden slippers

And how I can hear the sound of your keys in the door

I remember how loud the TV always is

And how you woke up in the summer to eat watermelons

I remember we once went to buy fruits and you kept me by your side

And there was that annoying man that I don’t like

And you said that’s how people are

We bought manga and coconut and cream

You always brought me whatever I wanted and you never let me down

You trusted me and I was your Miryam who you loved so much

I used to sleep by your side and we made a fortress

And every New Year’s Eve you bought me the French cheese that I liked

 

My darling grandpa,

You are very precious and losing you was very difficult for me

I can never forget anything I lived with you

From the country house to the beach chalet

You were always optimistic and strong

And you were mighty and great

When I first cut my hair and I didn’t like it you said it was beautiful and will grow long again

That I will always be my grandpa’s girl whatever I do

You always asked about our dog and about the violin

You were always true to your word

You were my father and friend and an exception to all people

I love you dearly and I still have so many memories that I will tell you about the second time

My dear grandpa

I love you so much

And when I come up to you, you will be waiting for me by the door

And you will say Welcome! Give me a kiss! And I will give you a hundred

I cannot stop writing but I must

Rest in peace grandpa

I love you

This is not a farewell, but a goodbye till we meet again

 

Your beloved granddaughter

Miryam

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